Online Dating Tools of the Trade: Personality Tests

Victoria Stephens' moment of enlightenment came when she turned 36. Weary of the fact that she’d exhausted most of the traditional means of finding a mate she did what many singles now do. Stephens (an alias) turned to online dating. With encouragement and a lot of coaching from her sister-in-law she joined Lavalife. Founded in 1987 and headquartered in Toronto, Canada, Lavalife is one of the web’s largest dating sites boasting over 600,000 active members. “Dating is definitely tougher in your mid-thirties. In college people tend to have a good network of friends, so meeting new people is easy. But as you get older your number of friends gets smaller,” says Stephens. “Online dating lets you look outside your circle and see who is really out there.”

Two months and a half dozen dates later, Stephens, an occupational therapist in Toronto may have already found her soul mate.

Hence the booming trend: established, hip singles such as Stephens using the web for romance, friendship, and more than a lucky few - nuptials. But there’s a catch: getting started is not as easy as one might think. “You have to do your research,” says Julie Veradi, a marketing specialist who says she is looking for friends and maybe a partner. “Some sites are niche specific while others are geographically-focused. The good ones do more than just let you post your picture”. Veradi uses Pocado, a UK-based site.

According to Veradi personality testing is a big part of why she uses the site. “They have a good system for screening people. People tend to lie quite a bit so an independent personality test can help with selecting someone who is well-suited with you. It also helps with matching and compatibility.” Still she says there’s no magic bullet. You have to meet the person to know if there’s chemistry there.

The profiles people write about themselves can make or break their chances of success in the dating world. Scott Brooks, a 33 year web-designer from Montreal, Canada claims, saying important photos aren’t enough. “If all you’re relying on is a couple of outdated pictures, you’ll strike out. This is particularly true for guys.” he says.

According to Brooks, while many sites offer free personality tests and quizzes they’re not all worth the time it takes to complete them. “Look for sites that offer validated tests and reporting that really captures your true personality.”

Personality tests (sometimes called behavioral assessments) can assist with writing a better profile. According to Brooks “The site I’m on now uses a personality test questionnaire that helps you get a better sense of your strengths. Knowing my personality helped me write a better personal essay.” Stephens also found this to be true, “The right profile is so important; I can’t tell you how many compliments I got on my personal essay. Of course I did get a little help.”

There a several online dating profile writing services available on the web. e-Cyrano, and ProfileDoctor are two of the most popular but Stephens didn’t use a live person to edit her profile, she used a personality test developed by a site called PersonalityPro. “It seems pretty strange to use a personality assessment to describe yourself but it actually did a great job. Just ask my new boyfriend.” she said.

Here’s a sample of what the personality test said about Stephens:

My friends tell me that I have a knack for motivating myself and that I inspire trust in the people that I meet. I consider myself to be a good leader when the situation calls for it, although I don't like rushing into things too quickly.

The test also comments on how personality affects communication styles.

When it comes to communication, I am a thoughtful person. I believe in expressing the feelings and emotions that I'm experiencing inside, rather than keeping things bottled up. I've been told that I'm a good listener too, using warmth to comfort people when they're feeling down.

Writing a personal essay is a task makes most people cringe. No one likes to think of themselves as a product that needs to be sold. Can a personality assessment really tell people who you are? It’s a question many daters will ask themselves as more and more sites offer this service.

“I went the personality assessment route”, says Stephens. “It’s not for everyone but it worked for me. The main thing is that you promote yourself. Whatever tool you use, you need to be comfortable that your profile tells people who you really are. Otherwise you’ll be sitting on the sidelines."